


Childish Dreams

by soliloquize



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4923691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soliloquize/pseuds/soliloquize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which James and Lily describe their ideal mate<br/>*Sometimes childhood convictions hold more truth than we realize*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Childish Dreams

          “When I get married, everyone’s gonna be on broomsticks,” James said with relish.  “And the bride’ll _fly_ down the aisle, and there won’t be no stupid talking, just Quidditch!”

          “Hush, James, the ceremony’s almost over, then we can go to dinner.”

          James was quiet for thirty seconds.

          “Mum, when I get married, can we have chocolate pie for dinner?”

          “James Fleamont Potter,” his mother hissed.  The five-year-old cowered for moment, before turning to tug on his father’s sleeve.

          “Dad, can I get married in pajamas?”

         

          As they took their places at the reception, Euphemia muttered to her husband, “We should’ve cast a silencing charm on him.”

Monty laughed.  “It’s a miracle we were invited in the first place, but I can’t say I’ll be disappointed not to attend another Black wedding, should James have cost us that honor.”

          “But it was so beautifully done,” she replied with exaggerated sarcasm.

          “Oh yes of course, dear.  Quite the joyous occasion, to be sure.”

          “What’s ‘joyous’?” James piped up.

          “It means it’s really happy, Jamie-boy.”

          James frowned skeptically. “This is really happy?” he asked as he looked around at the somber decorations and subdued music.  “My wedding’s gonna be way more fun than this,” he said with finality before either of his parents could answer.

          “Yes, now let’s hear about this wedding of yours,” Euphemia said, smiling.

          “There won’t be no boring dancing, just a goal scoring competition,” he told her.  “And all the food’ll be chocolate and nobody will go to bed ‘til ten o’clock at least!”

          “And what about your bride?” Monty asked between chuckles.

          “Oh she’ll cheer real hard when I beat everyone at Quidditch.”

          “What if she beats you at Quidditch?”

          James looked at his mother in horror.  “She won’t be better than me at _Quidditch_.”

          “Alright, Jamie, what will she be good at?”

          “Pranking.  And I guess she’ll be pretty smart.”

          “Excellent qualities in a woman,” his father said with a sly glance at his wife who was still claiming no knowledge of why he had been unable to speak in anything but sonnets yesterday.

          “And her hair will be the color of a Quaffle and she’ll like cats,” James decided.

          “Well, you must be sure to tell us when you find this girl, Jamie, she sounds wonderful.”

          “I know,” James said smugly.

 

* * *

 

 

“Have some more tea, Lily dear,” Petunia handed her sister an acorn-cap cup before filling it from the hyacinths serving as a teapot.

          “Thank you, Tuney!” the seven-year-old replied brightly.

          “I do say, it’s lovely to get together like this,” Petunia tried her best to imitate the posh accents she heard on the telly.

          “How _are_ your children doing?” Lily played along earnestly.

          “Quite well, thank you.  John is a little genius, reading at two years old, and my daughter Mary has just been chosen to be a supermodel!”

          “Well, my Ringo is drummer for a famous band!”

          “Lily,” Petunia said exasperatedly, “You can’t say that!  You’re just describing Ringo Starr.”

          “Am not!”

          “Are too!”

          “Am _not_!”

          They glared at each other for a moment, at an impasse.

          “It’s okay, dear.  I’m sure you’re husband being sick is very hard on you,” Petunia finally said, very proud of how graciously she offered her sister an out.

          “Oh yes, very hard,” Lily didn’t miss a beat.  Husbands were more interesting than babies anyway.

          “What’s his name again?”

          “Matt,” Lily said after thinking a minute. “And he’s very brave and smart and he tells the best jokes in the whole world.”

          “My husband is very smart too.  And he owns a big important business and he brings me flowers every day when he gets home from work.”

          “Matt is rich too, but I have to bring him flowers ‘cause he’s sick,” Lily explained.

          “Lily, the girl can’t bring the boy flowers!”

          “Says who?”

          “Says everyone!  It’s the boy’s job, everyone knows that.  You’re just stupid.”

          “Am not!  I’ll bring him flowers if I want. You’re just jealous because he loves me more than your husband loves you!”

          “Take that back!  Ned loves me more than a hundred million bajillion pounds.”

          “Well Matt loves me more than a million billion billion pounds!”

          “Well—Ned is more handsome!” Petrunia grinned as she played her trump card.  “Matt has to wear _glasses_ and his hair is always messy ‘cause he can’t do anything ‘cept lie in bed all day.”

          “At least he’s not _fat_ like Ned!”

          “Take that back!” Petunia screeched.  It only took Mrs. Evans a few more moments to come out and pull her fighting daughters apart, and only a few hours for the fight to be forgotten. 

 

          It took nearly ten years for Lily to give James Potter a bouquet of muggle prank flowers that squirted water all over his robes.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone cares, the wedding the Potters attend is Bellatrix's. Presumably Fleamont is successful enough that their relations deign to acknowledge the Potters despite the blood-traitor tendencies (I imagine Charlus and Dorea are an uncle and aunt of some kind to Fleamont, making Bellatrix some degree of cousin)
> 
> And bby! Lily and Petunia were totally Beatles fans. You can fight me.
> 
> As always, I adore comments-- critical or not!


End file.
